wwiao - Playing With Telemarketers
⇑

Playing With Telemarketers

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: *click*
chat posted 1 month ago with 35,209 notes
  1. carox23 reblogged this from calliecavazos
  2. bibidibobidiboo101 reblogged this from fatpeoplemakemehappy
  3. tvblover reblogged this from g-land
  4. carrotsandpigeonsandlamborghinis reblogged this from jboxr
  5. cyanideminnie reblogged this from skadooshh
  6. skadooshh reblogged this from general-misconception
  7. worldsavingprincess reblogged this from downtonmudblood
  8. haokimchi reblogged this from general-misconception
  9. general-misconception reblogged this from chickenpoxandballcocks
  10. smile-with-the-rain reblogged this from lauraamarie
  11. lauraamarie reblogged this from loren-not-lauren
  12. mindblown13 reblogged this from loren-not-lauren
  13. loren-not-lauren reblogged this from superflypancakes
  14. tumblingupthehill reblogged this from demonicllama
  15. stephinyoface reblogged this from stephtheawesome
  16. stellalalaadoesnotknowwhy reblogged this from the-absolute-funniest-posts
  17. mnmcintire reblogged this from ezebra
  18. frakkingtardis reblogged this from thekaylaleigh
  19. justcallmezim reblogged this from thereisnounderstudy
  20. the-girl-who-stopped-believing reblogged this from chickenpoxandballcocks
  21. ha-this-bitch reblogged this from thisismyworldtwopointoh
  22. thisismyworldtwopointoh reblogged this from inthevalleyofdeath
  23. inthevalleyofdeath reblogged this from umajuliaqualquer
  24. chickenpoxandballcocks reblogged this from fuckallthisfuckedupshit
  25. fuckallthisfuckedupshit reblogged this from neverhatejustlove
  26. neverhatejustlove reblogged this from meanttobeinspired
  27. dobestumble reblogged this from andallthenonbelievers
  28. andallthenonbelievers reblogged this from yo-sarge-comefightthisbee
  29. aloha808kalihi reblogged this from kimberlyi808
  30. caceboo004 reblogged this from thefamilydogmishu
  31. yiubum reblogged this from jackalkenpo
  32. melisalove reblogged this from stephniicolexo